ignitionremix:

I’ve never broken a bone which just seems too suspicious to me I probably don’t have any bones

gordoananke:

midnightthunders:

So… I was giving some jelly to my cat

image

My phone started ringing. Forgetting that I was holding the spoon I took the phone.

I never heard the spoon hitting the floor…

image

image

they are evolving

Anonymous: do u think nick jonas is gay

cornfuse:

you’re as unsatisfying as cold french fries

bombing:

doctor: you have to run more you’re incredibly out of shape

me: but doc i definitely run…..a blog haha

doctor: nice

me: nice

doctor: you’re going to die

me: nice

langdonhorror:

a gay man portraying a straight man forcing a lesbian actress playing a lesbian to focus on a hot dude’s dick

ladies and gentleman, American Horror Story. 

(Source: repllicunt)

moistflow:

teacher: alright, since no one is raising their hands i’m gonna pick people

me:image

(Source: cumdurnp)

sorelatable:

Freshmen about to be in the hallways like

image

Sirius: I'm serious.
Remus: I'm a were.